


There's No Place Like Gnome

by angelus2hot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Humor, Implied Relationships, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-26
Updated: 2011-05-26
Packaged: 2017-10-19 19:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You should never piss off a witch. Sam and Dean learn that lesson the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's No Place Like Gnome

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** There's No Place Like Gnome  
>  **Rating:** PG-13  
>  **Word Count:** 7,039  
>  **Characters/Pairing:** Dean, Sam, Bobby, (implied wincest)  
>  **Warning:** Cracktastic. There be fairy and a gnome here.  
>  **A/N:** written because of a conversation with the talented smut_slut  
>  **A/N2:** The amazing smut_slut has created artwork for some of the 'scenes' in the fic. Go take a look [Here](http://smut-slut.livejournal.com/85576.html)

  
[](http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v520/Angelus2hot/?action=view&current=000ywggy.jpg)  
banner made by the amazing smut_slut 

"Every piece of evidence we have for the disappearances leads to.." Sam quickly thumbed through his notes to make sure he got the name right. "Melinda Johnson. She's been practicing witchcraft, as far as anyone can tell us, since the late sixties. She's got the means."

As he stared at the house in front of him, Dean quickly turned off the engine, got out of the car and shut the door behind him. "You sure this is the place?"

After he shut his door, Sam quickly flipped through his notes again before he answered. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"It doesn't look like a witch's place to me. The house looks more like it belongs on the set of _Leave it to Beaver_."

"What exactly were you expecting, Dean? The house from _The Munsters_ with creepy music, Eddie Munster playing in the yard and maybe Lurch answering the door saying, 'You raaang?'"

Dean couldn't help it, he busted out laughing. His brother mimicking Lurch was too much. Now he would never get the mental image out of his head. At the irritated look on Sam's face, he quickly tried to control himself. "Sorry, dude. But you do a mean Lurch."

"Can we just get on with this?"

"Whatever you say, Lurch." Dean couldn't help but tease as he started to walk towards the front door. _Was it his fault his brother had the build for it?_

Sam glared at Dean's back. "Cut it out, Dean."

"Sorry, Sammy." As soon as Dean began to knock on the front door a bright light blinded them and their bodies were tossed in the air. As the light gradually faded they landed in a heap next to the front steps.

Dean was the first to stand up. "What the hell happened? It was almost like...." His words trailed off as he caught his first glimpse of Sam. "You're Santa Claus!" Dean snickered. "Okay, a miniature one but still. Dude!"

Sam yanked on his full white beard as he glanced down his body to his shoes. _Son of a bitch! He did look like Santa Claus!_ If he didn't stop Dean now he would call him Santa all the time. He quickly plastered a haughty expression on his face and tried to keep his lip from trembling as he looked back up at his brother. "I think the correct term is gnome." He was all set to say more but the sight of his brother brought tears of laughter to his eyes. At least he wasn't the only one in this predicament. "Uh, Dean? I wasn't the only one that changed." He pointed over his shoulder.

"Huh?"

"Well one of us has wings and I'm thrilled to say it isn't me."

"What the hell?" Afraid that Sam wasn't pulling his leg, Dean carefully reached over his shoulder and... "Unfuckingbelievable! I'm a fucking fairy?" This couldn't be happening to him!

Sam quickly began to glare at Dean. "I don't know why you're bitching. I'm the one you should feel sorry for."

"Why?"

"Honestly?" He raised up his shirt to give Dean a clear view. "Look at me, I'm fat!" His small hands rubbed his protruding paunch miserably. Sam tried hard to keep the whining tone out of his voice but honestly who could blame him?

Dean stared at his brother for a few moments before he was able to find his voice. "You're fat? That's the problem you have with this situation?" He stomped his tiny feet on the ground as he continued to stare at Sam in disbelief. "What the hell are we supposed to do now?" Dean continued to walk and stomp his feet.

"We need help. We should call Bobby." Sam offered so not helpfully from his seat on the ground.

"Great call genius. How exactly do you suggest we do that?"

Sam looked at Dean as if the spell had not only changed his appearance but he had also lost his mind as well. "There's a little invention called a cell phone. Remember?"

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother's sarcastic tone. Sam had better be damn glad he wasn't his normal self or he'd punch him in the nose. As it was if he tried anything now the only thing that would end up getting hurt would be him. Once more Dean glared at his tiny fist and shook his head. That wouldn't even scare a fly. "I'm what, 4 inches tall. Where exactly would I keep a cell phone on me?"

Sam's body trembled with panic. He could just picture himself having to stay a gnome forever. He couldn't do it. He would go crazy! "You have to do something, Dean. I can't stay like this. I can't."

"Wait, I had my phone with me." He patted his pockets just in case but his cell phone wasn't there. Of course it wasn't. That would've been too easy and God knows easy wasn't a word usually associated with the Winchesters. "Maybe I dropped it when we were changed into...." A sound escaped him, almost like a whimper. "Help me look for it." He pointed for Sam to go one way and he took off in the opposite direction.

The walk around the area would have taken mere seconds if he was still a human but in his tiny fairy body it seemed to take forever just to reach the impala. Dean came to stop outside the driver's side and stared up at his baby. Every cell in his body cried out to sit inside her one more time. He wanted to hear the purr of the engine as she roared to life; to feel the vibrations underneath him as they drove off into the night. If he were a lesser man he would be hugging the tire, as it was he barely restrained himself and continued to stare.

Thankful to be doing something, Sam jumped to his feet and began walking. "What?" He yelled as his brother let out another whimper. Before Dean could answer he spotted him standing in the middle of the dirt driveway, staring up at the impala with longing. Apparently, Dean couldn't get past the fact he was way too tiny to drive his baby. "Get a grip, Dean. We've got something a lot more important to worry about than a car." Sam whispered too low for his brother to hear; he wasn't completely suicidal after all. But all this meant one thing, obviously he was going to have to be the one doing all the searching.

Five minutes later and the search was over. Sam had tripped and went flying headfirst over the missing cell phone. He came to his feet yelling and cussing. If he'd paid more attention to where he was walking instead of continuously watching Dean he wouldn't have tripped in the first place. Dean had never held this much fascination for him before. _What the hell was wrong with him?_ Dirt flew around him as he dusted off his pants before he yelled for his brother. "Dean, I found it!" A high pitched sound came from the other side of the impala. "What?"

"I said..." Another high pitched sound stung Sam's ears. Before he could ask, Dean stood in front of him. "Never mind." He stared at the phone as he tried to decide the best way to use it.

While his brother was lost in concentration, it finally dawned on Sam that Dean must have been saying _Woo Hoo!_ but in his excitement his tone had become too high pitched to understand it. Sam struggled to keep the smile off his face. Now definitely wasn't the time to antagonize Dean.

"Son of a bitch!"

"What?"

"I can't pick it up."

"So step on the numbers." Sam suggested quickly. He wanted his body back now. And the quicker they got to Bobby's the faster that would happen.

"What?"

"Do you want me to step on it instead." Sam offered helpfully.

"No, smartass. I don't want it broke."

With his hands planted firmly on his hips, Sam glared at his brother. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Silently, Dean looked his brother up and down but didn't say a word. He didn't need to the look on his face spoke volumes.

Sam had to bite his lip to keep from telling Dean exactly where he could go and what he could do when he got there. That kind of thing would have to wait until they were back to their old selves again. "Look, Dean. Just do it and get it over with."

"Fine!" Without another word he put his tiny hands on the edge of his phone and began to pull himself up. Finally, with a great deal of effort and a lot of bitching, Dean managed to climb on top of his cell phone. As he stood up and looked around, he had to admit this was the craziest thing he had ever done. No one would ever believe him when he told them he had stood on top of his... Wait. That would just lead to questions on how was it possible and then the whole fairy, gnome thing would come up. They would never live it down. Dean shook his head. He had no intention of saying anything. Ever. With that horrifying thought put firmly behind him, he began to bounce on the number buttons.

With a silly grin plastered across his face, Sam watched as Dean bounced across the cell phone in a desperate attempt to reach help. He wanted to remind his brother about a certain game of hopscotch they'd played as children but somehow managed to keep quiet. Suddenly, Sam sobered as he heard Bobby yelling through the phone.

"Who's this?"

"Bobbyyouhavetocomehelpus!"

"Who the hell is this?"

"DamnitBobbyit'smeDeanyouhavetocomehelpus!"

Finally it came to Sam that Bobby couldn't understand Dean. "Dean! You have to slow down. Bobby can't understand you. Dean!"

Dean took a deep breath and tried to calm down. But it wasn't easy. Help was within reach if only he could make himself understood. Why hadn't they thought no one else could understand them?

"Bobby, it's me Dean."

"Dean? What's the matter, boy? I can barely hear you."

 _What's the matter?_ It took all of Dean's waning willpower to resist the urge to spend the next half hour telling Bobby exactly what happened. But that could wait until they got out of this place. Even though it looked like it had done it's worse, he wasn't taking any more chances. The explanations could wait until they were safely back at Bobby's.

"Dean! You still there?"

"Yeah. Look, Bobby, I need you to come and pick us up."

"What happened?"

"We'll explain everything when you get here. But first can you pick us up?"

"Yeah, sure. Where you at?"

Dean grimaced. "We're at the Johnson place."

"What in the blue blazes are you two doing there." Nothing but silence greeted the question. "Never mind just sit tight. I'm on my way."

"Thanks, Bobby."

"Oh, Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't touch anything."

 _Where was that advice when they really needed it?_ "No problem." With one last bounce, Dean ended the connection. "He's on his way."

Sam blinked back sudden tears as he stared at his brother. Just a little while longer and he would have his body back. "Oh, Thank God!"

 

 

An hour and a half later Bobby pulled up outside of Old Lady Johnson's house and was surprised to see the impala but with no sign of Dean or Sam. It wasn't like Dean to leave his baby unattended. _This didn't look good._ After he shut off the engine, he grabbed his gun, climbed out of the truck and walked towards the impala. "Dean? Sam?"

"We're here!"

Bobby glanced around. He didn't have time for a game of hide and seek. It wasn't wise to be here unless you were invited. "Where exactly?"

"Down here!"

"Down?" Bobby looked down at his feet. _What in the...?_ After two seconds, he couldn't hold it in any longer, he threw his head back and laughed out loud. He laughed until tears ran down his cheeks and his sides hurt. Of all the things he had expected to find this was not one of them. He didn't know what the boys had done to piss her off but it must have been a doozy.

Finally, the boys had had enough. "Cut it out, Bobby. This is serious!"

Bobby glanced back down at the boys, Sam's beard was lifted softly by the breeze while the sunlight sparkled across Dean's wings. "I can see that." He managed to get out before he was lost in peels of laughter again.

"Bobby!"

With a great deal of effort on his part Bobby was finally able to get his laughter under control. But only by not looking directly at Dean and Sam. "Okay, boys. Let's get out of here."

Before Dean and Sam could even open their mouths, Bobby held up his hand. "Now is not the time or place to discuss this. Wait until we're back at my place." Bobby walked quickly back to his truck with the boys trying to run to keep up. He opened the door, grabbed the box of the front seat and bent down.

Dean jumped back. "Woah, Bobby. What's with the box?"

"I don't have anything any smaller." If he'd known what to expect he could have brought something else. Scratch that. If he'd known what he was going to see, he would've never been able to make the drive. "You're too tiny for the seatbelts to fit you." Bobby silently congratulated himself on not snickering as he said it. "Unless you want to go flying all over the truck, you have to ride in it. That sound okay to you two?"

Both boys quickly nodded their heads in agreement.

Before he could change his mind, Bobby carefully lifted Dean and placed him inside the box. He turned to reach for Sam but one look and he thought better of it. Suddenly, Sam's hands shot up in the air. "What?"

"My legs are too short to make it over the top."

Bobby stared down at Sam, sure he was small but he'd still put on a lot of weight in this form. "Did you even try?"

"Come on, Bobby. I need a boost." Sam didn't want to whine, he really didn't. But he hated being this way.

With a sigh of resignation, Bobby once more bent down and reached for Sam. "Okay, but if you throw my back out..." He left the threat unfinished as he placed Sam beside his brother.

"Oh, hardy har har!" Sam plopped down beside Dean with a disgruntled look on his face as Bobby started the engine. Suddenly, his attention was caught by Dean. Who was throwing the beginning of what looked to be a world class hissy fit. "Dean, what's the matter?"

Dean didn't bother to answer Sam. He couldn't. He was too petrified they were going to leave without her. He stood in the center of the box and yelled at Bobby. "Bobby, No! Stop! Please, we can't leave!"

Bobby quickly shut of the engine. He'd knew something like this could happen. With some spells the person had to stay at the scene. "Okay, Dean. Calm down. We're not going anywhere." He'd have to figure out another way too......

Dean slumped against the side of the box and wiped his forehead with his tiny hand. "Oh, Thank God! I couldn't leave her here."

 _He couldn't leave her?_ Since when does one spell include a love spell? Unless.... Surely not. He'd kill him! He wouldn't have to worry about being a fairy for long. Bobby cleared his throat. His tone was deceptively soft as he began to speak. "Dean, why did you want me to stop?"

"So you could get the impala." He looked at Bobby as if he'd lost his mind. Why else would he have wanted to stop?

"For the impala" Bobby muttered under his breath as he climbed out and went to hook the impala to the back of his truck. He had almost had a heart attack thinking that something would happen to the boys if they left the farm house. And the whole time it was about the damn car!

Finally, after a lot of muttering most of it about Dean and where he could put the impala, Bobby finished attaching the car. Without another word, he climbed up into his truck, started the engine and began the long drive back to his place.

 

 

After they'd arrived back at his place, Bobby quickly unhooked the impala before he carried the box inside. He'd sensed Dean would throw another hissy fit if he'd left the impala hooked to the back of his tow truck for long.

He'd settled them on chairs in front of his desk and with a shocked expression on his face, Bobby listened as Dean and Sam took turns explaining exactly how they came to be in this predicament. After they finished speaking Bobby shook his head in amazement. "I can't believe you idjits actually thought that Old Lady Johnson was the one responsible for what's happening in this town."

"What were we supposed to think? She's a witch and all the evidence said..."

Bobby quickly interrupted. "Yeah, well you both are supposed to be smart hunters but all the evidence points differently now doesn't it?"

"Look, Bobby..."

Once more Bobby interrupted. "No, you look, Dean. Melinda has been living in this town since long before you were born. There's not a soul around who would accuse her of anything. She gives to the local charities. She spent a lot of her own money to help fix up the orphan's home. There isn't anyone in this town who hasn't been helped by her in one way or another. She's a fine upstanding woman, who on occasion just happens to practice witchcraft. The last time I checked that doesn't make her a killer."

"There's been too many disappearances in this town, Bobby. Has anyone thought that her being so involved in the town is a perfect cover?"

Bobby shook his head sadly. "You're letting your prejudice cloud your judgement, Dean."

For a brief moment, Dean hung his head. Although he hated to admit it, Bobby could be right. He really didn't like witches.

Sam quickly jumped into the conversation. "Okay, so if she's not the one, then why did she do this to us?"

Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "My best guess would be you mentioned her name to one too many people without doing her the courtesy of coming to her first." Bobby shrugged his shoulders. "Naturally, she's upset."

Dean's head snapped up like a yo-yo. "She's upset? Look at us, Bobby. I'm a fucking fairy and Sam's a fat gnome."

"Hey!" Sam squealed, insulted.

"Sorry." Dean muttered before he continued, "I think we're the ones who have the right to be upset don't you?"

"Look, son. I'm not saying you don't have the right, Lord knows you do. But there are certain things you just don't do. And upsetting Old Lady Johnson is one of them."

As Dean's face began to turn red with anger, Sam quickly asked, "So what do we do now?"

Bobby reached over to the shelf behind him and started putting old books onto his desk. "What I always do. Research and find a way out of this mess."

 

  
For two hours nothing was spoken as Bobby poured over his books. Every so often he would make a noise. Dean and Sam would straighten up and look hopefully at Bobby only to be disappointed when he shook his head and reached for the next book.

Finally, crammed in the back of his shelf Bobby reached for a book he had almost forgotten. _The Origins of Fairies and Other Mythological Creatures_ With a name like that surely there would be answers. With a grunt he managed to dislodge it from the rest and with a huge sigh, he laid the book onto the desk. After he settled himself back into his chair he flipped through the book and began to read.

_The origins of fairies is less clear especially in the folklore. Some people believe that fairies are demons that come to steal away children and replace them with changelings. While still others believe that their actual origins are of a conquered race that live in hiding like the Irish tales of the Tuathe De Danann. A group of Otherworldly beings said to be living in the sidhe(fairy mounds)_

_But regardless of where they come from one thing should be clear. Fairies and other mythological creatures are better left alone and without any interference from man._

_Other than man, fairies do have another enemy. Gnomes. These two get along about as well as one would expect from two such different species. Gnomes want to do either one of two things when they see a fairy. Fight or Fornicate. There is no happy medium, no way of coexisting between the two. This author advises if one should come upon a gnome and a fairy it is in their best interest to leave as quickly as possible. Never under any circumstances try to come between a gnome and it's prize._

 

Bobby shut the book with a snap. _Well, that was a fount of nothing!_ How in the hell was he supposed to figure out how to help Dean and Sam if the one book that should have had the answer only told about what Gnomes wanted to do to a fairy..... Suddenly, his thoughts trailed off as he noticed the glint in Sam's eyes as he stared at Dean. _Great! Just great!_ He would much rather Sam be in the mood to fight but no. Wouldn't you know with his luck all Sam wanted to do was fuck!

 

Sam stared at Dean as the light kissed the side of his brother's neck like a lover. Like he wanted to do. _Woah! What the hell?_ He didn't want Dean! He would never want..... The thought of Dean beside him, beneath him ran through his mind. It was enough to make him rock hard and aching. Sam was glad he was already sitting otherwise his knees would have buckled beneath him.

"Dean?" Bobby nodded his head in Sam's direction.

At the hungry look on Sam's face, Dean swallowed hard. "What do I do?"

"Well, I don't know about you but if it were me? I would run." Even though he knew he shouldn't find it funny, Bobby couldn't quiet keep the amusement out of his voice as he reached behind him for another book.

Dean didn't need any further encouragement. He took off running with Sam hot on his heels. Faster and faster but no matter how fast he ran Sam was right behind him. It didn't seem fair! Sam was four times his normal weight but he sure could run for such a fat little gnome. Dean glanced back and for a few glorious seconds he thought Sam had given up until out of the corner of his eye he spotted Sam behind him. This time his brother was carrying a....... butterfly net? _Sam was actually trying to capture his ass!_

"Bobby, help!" Dean screamed as Sam almost caught him with the net.

Bobby didn't even bother to get up but yelled back instead. "You've got wings don't you?

Dean slapped his hand to his forehead before he flapped his wings and miraculously he was beyond Sam and his butterfly net's reach. He grabbed a hold of the curtains and stared down at Sam. Dean stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at his brother. He knew it was childish but he couldn't resist. The confident, cocky feeling was intoxicating! And it lasted all of two seconds. That's when Sam started to pull on the curtains.

It was all too much for Dean. He clutched onto the fabric with both hands as the curtain began to sway back and forth. _Why did these things always happen to him?_ Once again he began to yell. "Bobby!"

"Idjit." Bobby shut the book he was searching through and went to investigate the problem now. Honestly, couldn't Dean figure out a way to stay out of Sam's reach just for a little while? The cure wasn't going to find itself. He took one look as he walked into the room and proceeded to laugh his head off. The scene before him was just priceless! Where exactly was a camera when he needed one? He could probably use Dean's cell phone but he was pretty sure that Dean wouldn't like it. Especially once he found out he'd already taken one picture of them in this condition.

With a look of immense relief on his face, Dean let go of the curtain and flew straight into Bobby. His tiny hands fisted in Bobby's beard as he held on for dear life.

A murderous expression plastered on his face, with his hands fisted, Sam stalked over to Bobby and began to kick his shins. He wanted Dean and he wanted him now! After a few well placed kicks didn't get him the desired outcome Sam resulted to a more direct tactic.

Small teeth sank into the flesh of his ankle and before he could stop himself, Bobby aimed a swift kick at Sam. "Damn it, Sam! That hurt!"

An evil little grin crossed Sam's face as he danced out of Bobby's reach.

Dean couldn't help but panic and flew off into the kitchen but he kept glancing back to make sure Sam was otherwise occupied. He didn't see the pie that sat on the table until it was too late. He'd already fallen into it. The more he struggled the more his wings were weighed down by the filling.

Sam quickly abandoned trying to do more damage to Bobby's leg and ran into the kitchen. _Mmmmmm. Dean and pie! His two favorite things!_ With a grunt he began to climb the table leg. As he climbed the table he couldn't help but begin to sing. "He's my cherry pie. Taste so good make a grown gnome cry. Sweet cherry pie."

Dean's mouth fell open at the song coming out of Sam's mouth. And he used to love cherry pie. After this he'd never look at it the same way again.

Suddenly, the icky, sinking feeling was gone as Bobby pulled him out of the gooey mess. Without a word, Bobby carried him over to the sink and began to fill it full of warm water as Dean undressed.

One look at the rapidly filling sink and it dawned on Dean exactly what Bobby planned on doing. "Wait! No, Bobby!" Naked, Dean jumped onto the faucet, clutched on tight and refused to move. There was no way he was going to risk getting into the sink. What if Bobby forgot and unplugged it while he was still in it?

Bobby shook his head at Dean's reaction. Like he could honestly get sucked down the drain. Apparently his fearless hunter bravado was seriously lacking in his tiny fairy body. He snickered silently to himself as he filled a large coffee mug with warm water and bubble bath.

Within moments the scent of strawberries filled the room. With a sigh of gratitude Dean sank deep into the mug. While strawberry wasn't a scent he would use, beggars couldn't be choosers. He was just thrilled to be finally getting the ick off of his body. "I never pictured you for a fruity smelling sort of guy. How come you have this anyway, Bobby?"

Dean watched fascinated as Bobby began to turn four different shades of red before his face finally settled into a deep blood red. _What the...? Bobby was blushing? Would wonders never cease?_ Bobby began to stammer as he tried to explain. Dean quickly put his fingers in his ears and shouted. "No! Never mind!" Whatever it was that caused Bobby to react this way must be quite a tale and he really didn't want to know.

Bobby's face was still beet red and a soft smile pulled at the corners of his mouth as he sat the mug with Dean happily inside it onto the table. Without a backward glance he went to continue the research and give Dean a little privacy to finish his bath.

 

Dean hummed to himself as he washed away all of the gooey pie still stuck to his body. As his wings began to flutter once more he sank deeper into the warm water. _This was the life!_ For a brief moment his face fell. Well, if he wasn't fairy sized and taking a bath in a mug this would be the life.

Beneath the table Sam still clutched onto the leg, he couldn't help but smile at the tune his brother was humming. It was the same song he'd just been singing.

Finally, after much huffing and puffing, Sam was able to reach the top of the table. Carefully, he took a peek and almost squealed in delight. Half of his work was already done for him. Dean, was taking a bath! Naked! He licked his lips as he continued to stare mesmerized at the bare leg sticking out of the top of the bubbles.

 

Bobby was gone only moments before a blood curdling scream ripped through the air. _What the hell?_ He tossed the book he'd been flipping through onto the table and ran back into the kitchen. He was just in time to see Sam swing his leg onto the table.

"Oh no you don't!" With a long drawn out sigh, he quickly grabbed Sam by the scruff of his shirt. "This has got to stop, boy! I'm trying to find a cure for this mess. I can't keep rushing in to save Dean from you."

"Hey!" Dean couldn't help but take offense. He hated being the one who needed to be rescued.

"Sorry, Dean but the truth hurts." At the look on Dean's face, Bobby bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Why don't we find you something constructive to do while your brother finishes his bath?" Bobby didn't give Sam a chance to answer. He tossed Sam over his shoulder, picked up Sam's computer and carried him outside.

Bobby sat Sam on the porch and placed the laptop beside him. "Why don't you try and make yourself useful instead of lusting after your own brother!" Bobby tried to repress a shudder at the thought. He knew that Sam couldn't help himself at the moment but it didn't look like the boy was even trying. With a shake of his head, Bobby turned around and headed back inside. He was quick to lock the screen door behind him. There was no way he was going to let Sam back inside until Dean was fully clothed. Maybe even some body armor wouldn't hurt.

 

Sam completely ignored the computer beside him as he sat with his arms folded across his chest, a mutinous expression on his face. This was definitely not the way he had pictured his day going. First, through no fault of his own, he was turned into a gnome and then he was denied the one thing guaranteed to make it bearable. It just didn't seem fair. And he wasn't going to stand for it any longer! He was going to get what he deserved and he deserved Dean!

With a determined glint in his eye, Sam leaped to his feet and almost dived into the driveway. After a few minutes of sifting through the rocks, he picked up the sharpest pebble he could find. A wicked smile graced his face as he poked a hole through Bobby's screen door. Over and over he shoved the pebble through the hole. Each pass made the hole bigger and bigger. Until, finally, it was big enough for him to crawl through. He tossed the pebble away and began to wiggle his way through the opening he had managed to cut in the screen door. After a few minutes of struggle, he had begun to worry he hadn't cut the hole big enough for his backside but finally, with a soft thud, he fell onto the floor inside the house. Silently, Sam stood up, quickly dusted himself off and went in search of Dean.

Five minutes later he found Dean, sitting on the chair in the kitchen. His very pose screamed dejection. "Dean?"

At the sound of his brother's voice, Dean jerked his head up and tried to scoot further away.

"Stop, Dean. I just wanted to talk to you. I found something that could help."

 _Oh, please. God. Let him have found the cure._ "Okay, I'm listening."

"On most of the lore Bobby's book was right but there was one detail the book didn't cover because the person who wrote it probably didn't know there was another option. Here's the thing." Sam paused a minute before he continued. "I know it's gross and disgusting but if it'll get us back to normal I say we give it a try."

"Give what a try?"

"I did an online search, it wasn't easy but I managed to find a way to break the spell."

"And? Don't keep me in suspense, Sam. These wings are killing me."

"You have to kiss me."

"I have to what you?" Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. How stupid did Sam think he actually was?

"Kiss me. Not just any kiss but a real one." At the disbelieving look on his brother's face Sam thought quick. "Look, I know this is the last thing you would ever think about doing, believe me I feel the same way but honestly, do we have another choice. Come on, Dean. You know me. If there was any other way..." He let the rest of his sentence trail off. He didn't want to over sell it.

There was no way this could be true. A fairy and a gnome kiss couldn't undo a witch's spell. It was plain crazy. Although he'd have said the same thing to anyone who had told him that he and Sam would be spending the night as a...he looked down at his tiny body before he glanced quickly at his brother. _What choice did they really have?_ "Are you sure this will work?"

 _Yes!_ Sam couldn't believe it was going to work. Dean was actually falling for it. He bit the inside of his lip to keep from grinning in triumph. "I only know that if we don't try we could be stuck like this for a very long time. Think about it, Dean. Apparently, we upset a witch, one who has deep ties with this community. I don't think it's something she's going to get over quickly. Do you?" With a long drawn out sigh, Sam let his shoulders slump. "There's no telling how long this spell will last."

As much as he hated to admit it, it sounded like his brother was right. Dean jumped down from the chair and landed almost within Sam's reach. "So how do we do this?"

"You don't have to do anything. Just relax, close your eyes, and it'll be over before you know it." His body flushed with excitement, Sam waited until Dean had closed his eyes before he leaned down and reached his hand towards his brother. This was it the moment he'd been waiting for since they had come to Bobby's. He could almost feel Dean's body in his hands, his lips beneath his.

 _Closer, Closer. Just a little bit more_ Sam held his breath in anticipation.

"What in the hell are you two doing?"

"Bobby, it's okay. It's not what you think. This is just to reverse the spell." Dean quickly assured Bobby as he jumped back out of Sam's reach.

Bobby stared at Dean as if he'd suddenly grown two heads. "Reverse the spell. By kissing your brother? The same brother that's been chasing you around my house for the last twelve hours..." He shook his head in disbelief. "You really are an idjit."

Dean bristled. "I know it's gross and all kinds of messed up but Sam said that just one kiss could break the spell. And I..."

"Oh he did, did he? Well did it ever occur to you that your brother was lying just to get his hands on you?" At the confused look on Dean's face he could tell the thought had never even crossed his mind. _God save him from clueless Winchesters!_ "If a gnome touches a fairy, then they will belong to each other until the end of time. Remember that? The passage doesn't say anything about a get out of jail free card because of a spell." Bobby threw his hands up in the air. "Honestly, boy. Haven't you learned anything by now?"

Once more Dean bristled at Bobby's tone. But before he could say anything Bobby continued.

"And what makes you think this will work anyway?"

"Truth is, I don't know if it will. But I've got to try something. I can't sit around waiting for the spell to wear off because what if it doesn't? Look at me, Bobby. I'm a freakin' fairy! I'm not a hunter anymore." He glanced quickly over at Sam who stood behind Bobby, watching him. "I'm the hunted. And if I've got to kiss Sam or any other misbegotten thing thrown at me, then that's what I've got to do."

Bobby nodded his head. "I hear you, Dean. But there is a way to break the spell. It's just going to take a little time for...´ Whatever else he was going to say was lost as Sam quickly pulled Dean up into his hands. ”Sam, NO!" But it was too late. Sam had already raised Dean to eye level and kissed him on the lips.

For a few moments nothing happened. Bobby felt the air rush out of his lungs as he exhaled the breath he'd been holding. Suddenly they were surrounded by bright light, their bodies tossed in the air; by the time the light finally faded the spell was broken and Dean and Sam were back to their human selves. As the light had faded they'd fell into a tangled heap on his floor. They completely forgot about Bobby as they repeatedly hugged and high fived each other. It was good to be back!

"It's about damn time, Rufus." Bobby muttered softly to himself as he watched the boys. He had almost begun to think that Rufus had failed.

Dean quickly pushed Sam away and glared at Bobby. "You told Rufus?'

At the look on Dean's face Bobby quickly began to explain. "I didn't have any choice, boy. Sam was dead after you. I checked into the kiss thing and there wasn't any way that was going to work. There wasn't any other way to break the spell. The only thing left was to talk to Melinda..." Bobby blushed deep red and cleared his throat. "I mean Old lady Johnson. I couldn't do it because I had to keep an eye on you two idjits. So I called Rufus and he agreed to help."

"Are you telling me that Rufus believed you?" Dean couldn't keep the doubt from his voice.

Bobby's blush deepened. "Well, no. Not exactly."

He didn't like the sound of that. "What did you do, Bobby?"  
"I knew he wouldn't help without proof, Dean. So on the way back I took a picture of you and Sam in the box with your cell phone before I called him."

 _He took a picture of..._ "Son of a bitch!" Dean rubbed his forehead with his hand. That explained the mysterious clicking noise he'd heard in the truck while he and Sam had sat in the box on Bobby's front seat. Finally, the rest of what Bobby had said sunk in. "There wasn't another way to break the spell?"

Bobby shook his head.

"You mean Sam lied to me?"

"Well of course he lied, you idjit. What did you expect him to do? He was trying to kiss you so you would belong to him forever...." Bobby left his sentence unfinished as it finally dawned on him, Sam had kissed Dean, even though the spell was broken, the damage had already been done.

Dean stared at Sam with a mixture of sadness and shock. "You lied." He whispered quietly. For all the softness of the tone, it was still a statement not a question. Dean tried hard to grasp the fact that his brother had lied to him about something so important.

Sam raised his hands in quiet supplication and shrugged his shoulders. He didn't bother to try and defend his actions. Why should he? He had finally gotten exactly what he'd wanted for a very long time.

And then something even more important came to Dean. "What the hell, Bobby? He already kissed me! "

"Now, Dean. Don't go getting pissed off at your brother. It wasn't like he knew the fairy curse would last even after the spell was broken. Right, Sam?" Bobby's eyes widened as he caught sight of the look on Sam's face as he stared at his brother. Hungry and possessive were the only two words that could describe the look. Bobby glared at Sam in disbelief. He would never have believed it of Sam but the look on his face couldn't be denied. Sam had known all along. It looked as if he would be spending the rest of his weekend researching a cure for stupidity. "Balls!" Bobby whispered vehemently as he quickly walked away.

"Where are you going?"

"Where do you think?"

Dean cast a sideways glance at his brother, there was no way he was staying in the same room with Sam, especially not with that look on his face! He quickly took off after Bobby. "I'll help."

With a wicked smile, Sam watched Dean as he jogged to catch up to Bobby. He didn't try to stop his brother. There wasn't any point. Now that Dean belonged to him, he could afford to be patient.


End file.
